guy:

one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald

(via ktrivia)

sidnugget:

like a  month ago this lady came into my health class and talked about internet safety and she said the government has access to all of our snapchats we send and i was really happy because the government owns probably over 500 pictures of my double chin i dont know what else she said because i fell asleep 

(via odins-one-eyed-fuck)